Usually I would walk in and frantically swat at the light switch, afraid of the unknown the darkness held, feeling like I needed to get the light on as quickly as possible to expose anything (or anyone) that might be waiting for my arrival.
But today was different. I walked in, walked towards the steps and made my way up the stairs. I've taken this walk so many times before, I felt no need to flip the switch and risk the possibility of waking my daughter up. I walked up to the main floor, put her to bed and felt something I haven't felt in a long time, if ever.
I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing. No fear of an empty house. No worry of someone being there. No anxiety of being alone. An unfamiliar (yet very welcomed) feeling of calmness and securety came over me. Something that I've longed for for quite some time now. It was finally here.
In that moment I became very aware of just how much I WASN'T afraid. How much I didn't fear the darkness, how much I didn't fear being alone.
I thought to myself; what was I EVER afraid of?
I don't know. I really don't.
But I do know that I'm no longer afraid. I'm not afraid of what could happen or what might happen. I'm not afraid of the unknown. I'm not afraid of being alone.
I'm not afraid.
Why? I think today, I was reminded or better yet, reassured, that I am never alone. I am walking with a lion. He goes before me, yet He is behind me. He shows me the way and He goes the way with me.
What can anyone do to me? My fear is in The Lord and only Him. My trust is in Him and only Him. My faith, my identity and my future, it's all in His hand.
I use to be so afraid of everything but now, I'm different.
The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Psalms 118:6
Absolutely nothing.
No comments:
Post a Comment