Body AFTER Baby

I recently posted this question on my Facebook page:

“What would you say is the most difficult post baby adjustment? And if you're not a parent but plan to be, what do you THINK will be the most difficult adjustment you face?”

I had in mind my own top three difficult adjustments, but I wanted to see what other people thought about the topic. Two of the three I had in mind were discussed but today I want to talk about the third one, the one no one mentioned. I’m not sure if it’s because other woman don’t deal with this issue or because it’s just not one of the easier topics to discuss but either way, here goes!

One of the most difficult transitions for me as a mother, has been my body after baby. There are many adjustments and on the big scheme of things, this probably shouldn’t be a HUGE concern, (which it isn’t) BUT it has been on the forefront of my mind and a difficult one to adjust to.

Growing up I’ve always been on the smaller side, I’m one of those girls that was naturally thin and I never really had to watch what I ate or exercise in order to stay “skinny”. Now just as a disclaimer I’m not saying this is the “right” way or the way women should look, nor am I saying this is the healthiest lifestyle, but nonetheless, this has been my reality for the majority of my life.

This all changed for me once I became pregnant with my daughter. My slim figure quickly, began to stretch and grow by the very day. Throughout my pregnancy I gained nearly 50 pounds! Although seeing my body morph into something unrecognizable was difficult at times, I really didn’t have major body image issues during my pregnancy. In fact, I never really thought I looked that big most of the time. I can honestly say most of my insecurities or self- consciousness was developed over time from other women (and sometimes men) who would say things such as “Oh my gosh! You’re huge!” or “WOW. I never got THAT big”. I realize now, that in comparison to my petite pre- baby frame, yes, nearly 50 addition pounds does look HUGE but I wasn’t some sort of spectacle. The fact that I was a little bigger than normal wasn’t an open opportunity for people to tell me so at every available opportunity. I think sometimes our society confuses “keeping it real” with “being rude” BUT I’ll leave that alone. Another day, another blog.

Anyways, one of the things I started to say towards the end of my pregnancy was “I can’t wait to have my body back”. This is twofold, one because I could not wait to not feel invaded by another human being and two because I couldn’t wait to shed all these extra pounds that had become difficult and cumbersome to carry around and made getting dressed every morning less like a daily task and more like an Olympic event.

This sounded good and all but there is one thing no one ever told me… AFTER you have your baby, you don’t just “get your body back”. This was probably one of the most difficult realizations for me. I knew I would be sleep deprived, covered in spit up, changing diapers all day and for all intents and purposes, considered a milk machine. I knew a lot of things about having an infant, but THIS I didn’t know. Being postpartum, I still looked pregnant and since I delivered my daughter via C-section, now I was not only fragile but I had MORE physical limitations then I did my entire pregnancy. It made for a very difficult transition to say the least.   

Over the course of weeks, I managed to lose 30 pounds, this was a great start but it was still a far stretch from my overall weight gain. Now, thankfully, the first 30 pounds came off relatively easy, however, I can tell the rest of them are going to give me a run for my money!

For me personally, the most challenging aspect has been making the time to work out. In the midst of working full time, taking care of a home, a husband, church activities and responsibilities, I now have a 6 month old who requires so much of me and I have allowed working out to quickly fall to the bottom of my priority list. It’s not that I don’t want to work out, it’s not that I don’t want to get back into shape, it’s not that I don’t want to fit back into all my old clothes. Of course I want to feel like myself again, right?

Ask I’ve asked myself this question, I’ve realized that maybe I don’t want it as bad as I thought, or maybe, I want the finished product, but I don’t want the process it takes to get there. Maybe it has become easier to complain about how I feel, than it would be to actually do something about it. I realized that I have made excuses for myself over and over again and every time I add an excuse, I add another pound on my back. (Not literally but you get the picture)

“I don’t have time”
“I can’t diet, I’m breastfeeding”
“I’m too tired”

These are some of my common excuses, but they are just that. EXCUSES. Everyone has enough time to do what they REALLY want to do, I can’t diet, but there is a suggested calorie count that is suggested for breastfeeding moms and HOW I reach those calories is up to me. Will I eat cupcakes and brownies all day or will I make healthy choices that will allow my food to work WITH me and not AGAINST me? I am tired, but as I begin to live a healthier life style energy will come.

I’ve realized sometimes it’s easier to be addicted to your struggle than to actually make the moves you need to see change! This can go for anything in life, what are you complaining about? What obstacle do you talk about but do nothing about? The struggle is no longer a struggle once you submit yourself to it. At that point it’s a lifestyle choice.

I’m not saying I want to be super skinny to feel beautiful, for ME personally, I don’t believe that is necessarily the image of beauty I should strive after. However, I do want to be strong! I want to become fit, healthy and confident. I really want to feel comfortable in my own skin, not because I’m perfect, but because every day I do my best to take care of the one body that God has given me.

As a woman and a mother, I believe in my body more than I ever have before. I have a new found appreciation for this baby making machine. I am thankful that although many times I felt like I couldn’t take it another day, like I couldn’t bear another pound, like I couldn’t withstand another contraction, my body overcame it all and today I am stronger because of it. I might never look the way I did before I had my daughter, and I might never loose the last 15 pounds, but I tell you what, I will be stronger in the end.

I know that this is going to take time and effort, but I’m committed to the process.

Knowledge v Wisdom

Anyone who knows me well, knows I do two things, A LOT..

 

1. Think

2. Talk

I find myself sometimes over thinking and then just blurting out my feelings, thoughts or opinions randomly or unnecessarily. Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong but most times I could have just been quiet either way.

I guess one thing that really frustrates me more than it probably should, is knowing that something is “wrong” and just looking past it, ignoring it or acting like it never happened. It literally burns inside of me until I get it out. This could be a good thing, or a bad thing. I guess it really depends on who you ask and when you ask them.

I’m learning more each day that just because I think it, doesn’t mean I have to say it. Just because I’m “right” or justified doesn’t mean I need to blurt it. Some things are meant for private pondering, not public broadcasting.

It’s true: knowledge is knowing what to say, but wisdom knows when to say it.

Lately I find myself writing out long text messages, emails or Facebook post, getting all my thoughts out and then clicking “cancel” because I know it’s just not worth it. I’ll think something over and over in my head and then ultimately, just leave it there. I’ve realized is nothing worse than regretting something you’ve said. Once words are spoken, they are gone. Forever. There is no taking them back, and no matter what your intent, sometimes, they just take on a life of their own.

I’ve become more aware lately of what I say, and to whom I say it to. It’s one thing to speak, but if your words have no end purpose, what’s the point? If nothing good will come of them, if they will make no difference, better yet, if they will make no positive impact, why say them?

If you’re not using your words to build, then you’re using them to destroy. If you’re not using your words for edification, you’re using them for deformation. Whether it be a person, place or thing, your words can be used for building up or breaking down. Choose them wisely.

Not every thought is meant to be shared; my prayer is that I would become quick to listen, slow to speak.