Today marks 9 months since my daughter was born. She has officially spent the same amount of time OUTSIDE of my womb as she did INSIDE. This is such a surreal feeling for me. Watching her grown and change weekly (if not DAILY) has been such a blessing to me. I love how her personality comes out more each day. She's always learning new things, trying different foods and developing her own preferences. For example, doesn't like to wear socks, but she does like to sleep on her side. She doesn't like crawling but she will stand up on just about anything. She isn't a fan of large groups of people and chaos but she does like loud music and noise. (I think she gets that from her daddy!) Anyways, the more she grows and changes, the more I am reminded of the circle of life.
Life is all about learning and growing, change and adjustment. No matter how young or old you are, this cycle starts at birth and ends at death.
Seeing how much my daughter changes on a day to day basis has become a point of reference for how much I don't change on a daily basis. Much of my life (of course with the exception of getting married, buying a house and having a baby) has remained the same for some time now. I've noticed that even in the midst of major life changes, a lot of the "little things" have remained the same.
Seeing how much my daughter changes on a day to day basis has become a point of reference for how much I don't change on a daily basis. Much of my life (of course with the exception of getting married, buying a house and having a baby) has remained the same for some time now. I've noticed that even in the midst of major life changes, a lot of the "little things" have remained the same.
Over the last few months I have struggled with a continuous cycle of trial and error to find balance in life. Being a mom, working full time, working in ministry full time, being a wife, friend, daughter, finding time to work out, finding ME time and even a moment to rest has been interesting to say the least. Taking care of the people and things around me while making a desperate attempt not to loose myself has been a challenge. It's been an inner battle as well because prior to the birth of my daughter, I had a good balance in my life and sometimes I miss that. Work, home, family, friends, marriage and of course ME time were all essential to a happy, healthy lifestyle and before Savannah, I had this all down pack.
Or did I?....
Recently I spent an evening in my office reading through some old notebooks and journals that dated back to 2008 and came all the way through to 2014. As I was reading something became evident; the struggle for balance has always been there. The frustrations, the obstacles, the challenges, they've all been the same over time. PRIOR to marriage and POST marriage, PRIOR to home ownership and POST home ownership, PRIOR to my involvement in ministry and POST ministry, PRIOR to the birth of my daughter and POST her arrival.
It's funny because although having Savannah has been a HUGE adjustment, I wonder how much of my struggle for balance has been self induced. I mean, I've had the same issue for years, the only thing that has changed is my excuse for why it happens. It makes me wonder, we all have 24 hours in a day, right? Yet some of us use our time to do much and some waste time doing little. I'm realizing more and more the struggle isn't because of one thing or another. Although it would be nice to pin point a scape goat for our inability to "get it together", could it be that the problem actually lies within? Could the desperate attempt for balance be a result of our quickness to waste time carelessly rather than invest time wisely.
What are you doing today, right now, this moment, that will bring you one step closer to your goal. Will you accomplish anything today that will help better your tomorrow? Will you invest your time wisely so you can see the fruit of your labor later, or will you let time dwindle away until you're bankrupt? These are all questions I've been asking myself regularly.
Or did I?....
Recently I spent an evening in my office reading through some old notebooks and journals that dated back to 2008 and came all the way through to 2014. As I was reading something became evident; the struggle for balance has always been there. The frustrations, the obstacles, the challenges, they've all been the same over time. PRIOR to marriage and POST marriage, PRIOR to home ownership and POST home ownership, PRIOR to my involvement in ministry and POST ministry, PRIOR to the birth of my daughter and POST her arrival.
It's funny because although having Savannah has been a HUGE adjustment, I wonder how much of my struggle for balance has been self induced. I mean, I've had the same issue for years, the only thing that has changed is my excuse for why it happens. It makes me wonder, we all have 24 hours in a day, right? Yet some of us use our time to do much and some waste time doing little. I'm realizing more and more the struggle isn't because of one thing or another. Although it would be nice to pin point a scape goat for our inability to "get it together", could it be that the problem actually lies within? Could the desperate attempt for balance be a result of our quickness to waste time carelessly rather than invest time wisely.
What are you doing today, right now, this moment, that will bring you one step closer to your goal. Will you accomplish anything today that will help better your tomorrow? Will you invest your time wisely so you can see the fruit of your labor later, or will you let time dwindle away until you're bankrupt? These are all questions I've been asking myself regularly.
Success doesn't just happen. It's a daily, conscious, calculated and consistent pursuit. You can't just WANT it, you have to WORK for it.
This reminds me of a conversation my husband and I had just weeks after Savannah's arrival. We left her with my mom for the first time and we went out for our first post baby date night. Over dinners and drinks I told him how I was at times overwhelmed by the adjustment and how badly I wanted to regain control of my life again and how I wanted to get my body back along with my rest and free time. I remember him looking across the table and saying "Lori, you have to fight for your life".
This reminds me of a conversation my husband and I had just weeks after Savannah's arrival. We left her with my mom for the first time and we went out for our first post baby date night. Over dinners and drinks I told him how I was at times overwhelmed by the adjustment and how badly I wanted to regain control of my life again and how I wanted to get my body back along with my rest and free time. I remember him looking across the table and saying "Lori, you have to fight for your life".
Now anyone that knows my husband knows this is a rather typical answer. His solution is always push harder, be stronger, work wiser and make it happen. He will never give me the green light to quit because something is "too hard", he has and probably always will force me to look deeper and find the strength I need to persevere.
Sometimes, in the moment this can be annoying, at times I've even found him to be insensitive but ultimately I see that he's right. (Shhh... Don't tell him I said that). Sometimes you have to really fight for your life. Fight to get the balance you desire, fight for strength, fight for focus, fight for the passion to pursue greatness.
Sometimes, in the moment this can be annoying, at times I've even found him to be insensitive but ultimately I see that he's right. (Shhh... Don't tell him I said that). Sometimes you have to really fight for your life. Fight to get the balance you desire, fight for strength, fight for focus, fight for the passion to pursue greatness.
I've realized I can't always do everything, but I can always do something. I won't submit to the burden of busy. We all have the time, it's just a matter of investing it wisely rather than wasting it foolishly.
Is it worth it? Then fight for it.
FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE.
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