4 Things I Learned After Logging Off

Like many, social media has become a huge part of my everyday life. I've spent a lot of time connecting and networking, sharing my thoughts and ideas as well as posting pictures and videos of my children, husband and home. I’ve let people into my life in a very personal way while simultaneously entering theirs. I've found myself on numerous occasions 'putting myself out there' without actually having to go anywhere which is comfortable and convenient yet intrusive and evasive all at the same time. 　

Recently, I decided to log off. Just for a little while, but OFF nonetheless. I wanted to clear my mind and gather MY thoughts without interruption. When I logged off, I went through quite an interesting process. The first week or so, it was just WEIRD. Every late night feeding, quite moment or long line, I would open my phone only to see my apps were gone. Breaking the mere habit was a lot more difficult than I anticipated! I was ALWAYS going into default ‘scroll mode’. Eventually I dropped the bad habit and being disconnected became a little more normal for me. I didn’t think about who was posting what. I wasn’t concerned with the ever present drama and indirects, the frequent public invitation to the local pity party or what was on the agenda, lunch menu or vent list of my 200+ ‘friends’.

Life slowed down a bit; it became more intimate and meaningful. I was enjoying each moment rather than trying to capture it and oddly enough, I became more connected then I had ever been before. Connected to real things and real people.

What I thought would be one week, turned into two, into three and then into a month, and then two months and so on. The absolute unthinkable had happened, I LOVED IT. The freedom, the peace, the quiet. I loved it all!

But what was I loving so much? And how could I love not having something that I liked so much just weeks before? I’m really not sure what transpired in me. I still till this day have remained ‘unplugged’ with the exception of intermitted attempts to connect for ministry networking purposes. But why? What changed?

While I don’t really have specific answers to those questions, I can share with you my experience and the 4 things I learned after logging off.

       1.      There’s a false sense of community.

This is interesting considering that most people have dozens, if not hundreds, even thousands of ‘friends’ and/ or followers on social media. I see these people, or at least their profile, everyday! How could this be a false sense of community?

What I personally realized is that Facebook allows you to have relationships that are casual and non- committal, ones that are built on the foundation of convenience and accessibility. Confrontation has become cheap and casual and a lot can be said with very little, if any, accountability. You think you’re surrounded by ‘friends’ but in reality you’re very much alone.

It makes you wonder, is there such thing as deep, intimate, meaningful relationship or has everything dwindled to distant and digital?

       2.     It’s too loud!!

Have you ever been in a room full of people, the TV is on, miscellaneous videos playing on individual cell phones, toys singing, babies crying, children demanding your attention, your spouse talking to you, all while you’re cooking, cleaning, doing laundry AND suddenly, someone walks up and puts yet another distraction in your face?

This is life on social media. A constant distraction, calling your name and screaming for your attention. It’s come to the point where not even a single task can be accomplished without interruption.

3.       Comparison is the thief of joy.

Whether any of us like to admit it or not, we are all in a constant game of compare and contrast. We are socialized to measure up to those around us. Who’s faster? Stronger? Smarter? Prettier? Thinner? More successful? Better parent? Better spouse? And the list goes on.. But what does it benefit us to look to the left and look to the right? Here’s what I’ve learned; comparison is truly the thief of joy and when you find yourself feeling inferior to one, you will inevitably find yourself feeling superior to another. There’s a reason we were all made to be unique individuals, because in our uniqueness, comparison becomes apples to oranges; it’s just not fair, possible or true. No one is ‘better than you’ and you are no better than any. We are different and differences are a beautiful thing that we should not attempt to quantify.

4.       Constantly connected, never available.

How many times have you been sitting in a room, connected to hundreds of friends, available by text, email, phone, snapchat, text, google message, etc. etc. etc. yet you’re far from available to the people sitting feet away from you? I’ve found the more I’m connected, the less I’m available. I think I’m present because I’m physically in the room but my mind if far from engaged with those around me.   

By this point in my blog you’re probably assuming this is an anti- social media plea and it’s not, at all. I think when social media first began to take roots in our culture, it’s purpose was to connect individuals, build relationship, spread news both local and global, encourage, motivate and inspire others. Yet the platform has been repurposed, in ways has been tainted and could essentially be wasted if nothing changes.  Logging off made me realize how misused social media had been in my life, and how mentally draining it had become to me. But it also showed me how quickly that could turn around as well.

Social media, like anything else isn’t ‘bad’ but the way we use it will determine the effects it has on ourselves and others. We can repurpose the platform at any point. We can use it to encourage, motivate, inspire, connect and share in a positive way. There’s no need to let something so great, waste away because of things so petty. Social media is a tool, a platform, a gateway, my goal is to keep it that way!