"If I knew he was dying, maybe I would have done thigns differently"

And then she said, "If I knew he was dying, maybe I would have done things differently".

 

In that moment, it was as if I suddenly became supernaturally connected, not just to the conversation, but to that family, to that loss and my heart broke.

 

Death. It's so sad, so raw, so fragile, yet  so predictable at the same time. It visits us all. No one is above (or beyond) death, you can't run, hide or cheat it, you can't buy more time, you can't reverse it once it's done. Death does not discriminate by age, marital status, social status, level of success or purpose. Death is final, absolute and without limitations.

 

As I sat for a moment pondering the thought, a million things went through my mind and ultimately my broken heart turned from mourning to confusion.

 

"If I knew he was dying, maybe I would have done things differently"

What does that mean?  If you knew he was dying? As though you expected he'd live forever? I don't understand, how you didn’t know he was dying? Doesn't death knock at all of our doors? Doesn't death meet each of us with a cold good bye at some point or another?

 

My mind still going a million miles a minute, just kept running that statement through my head. Over and over and over again. If I knew? If I KNEW he was dying.

 

With a heart full of sadness, my mind concluded, how did you not know he was dying?

 

In that moment, it hit me, again. A realization I have almost daily, but today it felt truer than ever before. We're all dying. One day it will be my daughter sitting amongst her friends mourning the loss of myself or my husband. One day, it'll happen whether we’re ready or not.

 

What is it about death that is so certain yet so mysterious? We may never know for sure when or how, but what we can count on is that it will happen.

 

There is such a fine line between life and death, earth and eternity. Yet sometimes we live as if it doesn’t even exist.

 

I wonder what she would have done differently. I wonder what one day I will wish I did differently. Death is inevitable. Without being morbid, you still have an opportunity to prepare for it. Your daily life should be lived in preparation for death. What will people remember you by? What will they say about your passing? What legacy will you leave for your children? Or your children’s children? How about those closest to you, what will you feel the day your last good bye is uttered? How do you treat those you love? Do they know they are loved? Does your spouse know that he (or she) is longed for? Do they know that everyday you would choose to say YES to them once again? Does your family know how much they mean to you? If your love is never expressed, it can be argued that it doesn’t even exist. What does it matter to have unexpressed love? Where will that leave you?

You might not know when, where or how, but one day, your life and the life of those around you will come to an end. Don’t live with regrets of things unsaid, problems unresolved, relationships unrestored, promises never fulfilled. Life is too short and too fragile to live in a way that leaves room for regrets.

 

You may not have forever, but you have today. Let those around you know how much they really mean to you. You never know when it’ll be the last time.